An Imperfect Diamond

You disappoint me and don't even know it; this is nothing new. So I don't know why every head-spinning comment surprises me. I'd like to think that I am too practical to turn you into something that you're not. Sure, you can mix chemicals to make our chemistry, but it doesn't fix anything that's really wrong. You're still going to be three steps behind me, unable (or unwilling) to match my stride. And I don't forget that. Why does every reminder surprise me?

If it were the spell of the winter season, I wouldn't recall standing in the summer sunshine in St. Louis and feeling the same sense of shame. Congratulations - my misappropriated attraction for you is a perennial bloom (which is far more than many others can claim). What does that say?

This entire thought process makes me sick in my stomach, 'cause I realize that it's always been this way. My heart may be married to my head, but they don't always information-share. All I've ever done is settle, allowed myself to be convinced by caresses and the romance that I find rare. Too practical to forget, my rose-bethorned eyes! I am far too practical and thus must forget. How many points does that score for Team IFT (Irony, Fate, and Temperance)?

I want to vanish into sleep now, but revelation has sufficiently interfered. This is why you're in my life, this is the lesson that you bear. I can't say I care for it very much, for all that it's (apparently) what I need to hear. So, next time I'll be more careful (What do you mean, "careful," you silly girl? As if attraction is something you control!) and I'll check the male thrice to make sure of my list. Brains, an open mind, a good work ethic, honesty, confidence, chemistry, and romance. Did I forget anything? (For all my intelligence and experience, my thoughts can still be frighteningly naive. Of course I forgot something - REALITY.)

So here's the diamond for the night, flawed, muddy, and chipped. It's not what you were hoping for, and it's not what I was hoping for either, but I guess it's what we get.