And when did I start using 'sweetie' anyways? Darling and doll were so much sassier. But my brain is far from full capacity right now. My body fights for control and comes close to winning. Surprising, considering how cerebral I've always been.
Have I always used him this way? Warm body, warm thoughts, safe feelings, and sexual arousal? I look back and see that was always my intention. At least initially. It was his arm around my neck that finally convinced me. And he hasn't done it since. It's only fair to him to end it. And I've known it all along. Always.
Why is it that the most lucid thoughts occur during the greatest insanities, so that they might be discounted as part of the crazy? Perhaps it's because during insanity, we're not hampered by trying to convince ourselves with logic. We revert to instinct, to what we've always known best - who we are.
