Empty Field Myopia

I am young, but far from naive. I lost my innocence long ago, though I like to think my virtue will always be intact.

I dream about having someone beyond the countless males I wear about the curves of my ears. I ask, "who am I?" but mean, "who is he?" It is a solved mystery that I want a more immediate answer to, though I know there is little satisfaction in instant gratification.

So I state the facts and have the fantasy, knowing it is all talk and no walk (much to their frustration).

But all the same, my lack of innocence and want of naivete call for more than I allow myself. My bed feels a little too big with just me in it and my flirtations a tad pointless without a goal. (Purposeless flirting feels directionless, if you can imagine that.) My pointed foot perpetually indicates blank space, a physical empty field myopia.

That's the contradiction and conflict-ion you see. There is nothing there, but my youth insists on fixing on it, only aware that I must one day see.