Consequences

Here I thought I'd won something, gained a little ground. But, no.... Not only am I not moving ahead, I've fallen behind. I lost a decent reputation and that scrap of scarce comfort along with it.

How much of an idiot can I be? Once was a risk and dented my reputation severely, but the second time just made me crumble. I know better! But I wanted the attention, the admiration, that I thought it would bring. HA! I guess I got what I wanted. And like a wish granted by a genie in a bottle, I got it in the most awful way. I knew that's what would happen, too. But I suppose desire blinds you, makes the world an opaque blur when mixed with desperation. (THERE's two liquors that'll put you on the bathroom floor.)

So, I'll just have to deal with the consequences of my wish, my actions. God, I was so stupid.... This is gonna hurt me. (Pass me more to drink.)