I feel incredibly guilty. I keep telling myself that I am not at fault; I didn't do anything wrong. But I think I did. I should have known better. But I was a selfish, self-centered bitch, and I did it any way.
I tell myself that the other girl, my niece, had no claim, that he was open and offering. But, damn. I hurt her and she did have a claim, if not a good one. One of friendship. I should have respected that claim and kept away. (Way to step all over the laws of Girl World, SD.)
But I'm justified in my actions! (I think.) He never wanted her; he wanted me. It would never have worked out between them. Besides that, he never asked her out! And he liked ME. It was me, not her, that he chased down in a mall food court and called sexy, me that he drew close and protected.
I'm such a bitch. The girl's my niece, and so fragile. What this must be doing to her self-esteem, to lose the guy she likes to me! And I don't think I would be justified in begging forgiveness. If our places were reversed I wouldn't grant it, either.
Damn it, what have I done?
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