The Secret

I am all but crying for a possibility, and even though I do not voice it, it is worth a laugh. Maybe I'm jaded, in my not-so-special naive way, but I know something beautiful when I see it. Or feel it, as the case may be.

Disclaimer: I've talked of the intricate orchestration of the universe before, and I doubt this reflection will add anything much more to it. But you and I will never be certain unless I write it.

That card's been in love with me for months. I've been afraid of it, I've been pissed with it, and I've been relieved to see it. Mostly, though, Little Miss Rational (yeah, that's me) has been confused by it.

I knew it would sparkle clearly eventually.

But patience, however rational an attribute, has been the perpetual bruise on my shoulder, ripe for poking and pain.

But, tonight, some of the mud has finally slid off the card, revealing a beginning - a remedy. (The latter is a great turn by the subconscious phraser.)

Little Miss Rational was right to be confused, 'cause she SOOOO can't handle this. It would be like trying to teach a toenail clipping about quantum physics: she just doesn't have the context for it. (R.E.A.L.I.T.Y. and R.E.A.S.O.N. have a fair bit in common, but they are far from the same thing.)

That card is my way out, my way back. Not to whom I used to be (I did waaay too much paperwork to get that divorce to go through) but to a healthy place somewhere between ergos and emotions.

The universe is a masterpiece, able to encompass a great many things its inhabitants will never fully understand (including itself). I have to laugh at my tears because I am both jaded and naive, one because I am the other, inextricably and forever, heartbreakingly hilariously. Do you want to know the secret?

That's how it's meant to be.