In the Search for Greener Grass

Maybe there was a chance for forever, but I lost it with an eager smile, turning away much too quickly to understand just what it was I was giving up. Or was he the one to hide his face, to recede back into the shadows of 'if only'? I can't remember, even now, so wrapped up was I in the erroneous theory that the grass is always greener where you haven't been grazing. Did I ever stop to think that I was grazing there for a reason?

You know, I'm really just scared, possessed by a series of melancholy sentiments that dabble and play with my soul, but all in all, just won't leave me alone. What am I, a bobble set hanging for kitten's paws to bat at and batter? I'm glad that this must be amusing for the kitten's owner, 'cause I really just find it to be an annoyance. (Given a million more shades of intensity.)

I'm not the person I make myself out to be. I'd rather laugh at clever Kraft puns that giggle along with silly, stupid antics. ('Cause you know those Kraft puns are just so cheesy that they HAVE to be shredded.) I'm more makeup and couture than the heavy metal music people like to think I listen to, and dancing like a slut is SO much more fun than playing the instrument I'm so good at. Like so many other people in this world, I present a false mask that has little to nothing to do with what my heart, soul, and mind really look like. (Hooray for being just another momentary blur of features in THAT global crowd.)

Did I SAY there was a chance at forever? Perhaps I did, but if you were to check in with reality at the concierge's desk, you'd find that I never really knew one way or the other. And maybe that's why this long-past situation has been dancing jigs on my brain so frequently of late. That uncertainty, that shot in the dark that maybe I should have taken for myself, reminds me of a more recent something else, another pasture I left in my vain search for greener grass. Either one you choose, I can't turn back.